Imaginary Friend
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. You can also receive updates via email. Thanks for visiting!
I never had an imaginary friend as a kid. But, I did have a great imagination. My brother and I would play for hours and hours together pretending I was the teacher and he was the student or I was the cook and he was the customer. Yes, I thought it was sooo much fun to take orders from my little brother and make him whatever he wanted for lunch. Then I would serve it to him on a special plate and clean up after him! He must have been laughing inside! We also spent countless hours building things with legos and of course acting out stories with my cabbage patch dolls.
Now, I have such fun watching Little E. He has an amazing imagination! I love watching him play with his pirate ship and see the concentration on his face and hear the different voices he uses for the pirate and the captain. And of course, the train table provides endless hours of fun and imaginary stories. He also has great conversations on his cell phone. But, the latest, is his imaginary friend. Well, he’s not completely imaginary, I guess I should say he is Little E’s invisible friend. Little E has a cousin that he adores. Actually, I think he half way worships him. His cousin is 5 years old and Little E wants to do everything his cousin does. About a week ago, his cousing started “appearing” around the house.
“Little E, let’s sit down and have breakfast.” “Mommy, cousin wants to eat too. See, he’s sitting right beside me.” O-k. “Mommy, ask cousin if he wants to read a story too.” Or “Mommy, cousin is all done with dinner, can I be ’scused, too?”
The appearance of his “cousin” is becoming very common and my Mom said Little E has started doing it at her house, too. I guess this is normal and it’s kind of cute. But, I don’t know how much my husband and I should play along. So far, he hasn’t used his “cousin” to blame things on. I wonder if any of your kids have imaginary friends and how you handle it. Do you “talk” to the friend when your child asks you too? Move over when you’re sitting in the seat that is already taken by the “friend”? I assume this is all very normal and part of growing up. The only thing has me the tiniest bit concerned is that Little E’s cousin is moving this weekend half away across the country. We will go from seeing him twice a week to twice a year. I wonder if his cousin will start “appearing” more when Little E misses seeing him. If so, is this a healthy way of dealing with his sadness and should I just go with it?
For now, I’m not necessarily encouraging it, but I am playing along. Little E knows he’s just pretending and until his invisible cousin starts getting blamed for things around the house, I’m going to consider it harmless and part of the fun of being three!




August 8th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
When my daughter was little she had an imaginary friend. I had just finished reading Bruno Bettleheim’s “The Uses of Enchantment,” which talks a lot about the value of telling fairy tales to children–and not skipping the dark, weird, pre-Grimm ones. So I was really thinking about a child’s imagination and the value of building on it, of expanding, and especially, of treating it with respect.
I spoke directly to my daughter’s imaginary friend as if she were sitting right in front of me. Rah would always correct me and tell me I was looking in the wrong place and I’d respect that too and say, “Well, it’s hard for us grown-ups,” because the imaginary friend isn’t about having a friend or about making up unreal people. For a kid, it’s about defining their place in the world. Weirdly enough, making up an imaginary friend is one of the ways a kid determines where they are, who they are, and where the limits of their imagination are. I had to respect that th imaginary friend was Rah’s, not mine, and belonged in her world, not mine and so I had to remain polite and supportive but not be solicitous.
August 9th, 2008 at 2:42 am
interesting article, I like your site.
August 16th, 2008 at 9:54 am
My daughter Emma has a million imaginary friends. Quickly made up and forgotten. So I guess it is not the same thing. Fun to see how this develops along.
August 18th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
I also had some imaginary friends in the childhood. I was very shy to tell about them my parents but when I became older I completely forgot about them. So I think that the best would be wait…
August 21st, 2008 at 5:55 am
Wow, That bring back memories, of when my 3 sons had imagination friends. They loved the power ranger so they would pretend they were on their own adventures. I would watch them for hours. LOL Kids are so wonderful
August 28th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Go with it, totally. Set a place at the table for it. An imaginary friend is a huge indicator your child is gifted (although I had one named Scream, so there are exceptions).
September 10th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Thanks for the nice story. I have one here for you and your readers as well that deals with child play today vs. when we were kids. Hope you enjoy. You can see it at
http://writingfrontier.com/2008/09/08/childs-play/
Take care.